a slug, motivation, and imaginary friends

i feel like i have been neglecting my own project... 

i was chatting with a very close friend today over txts discussing how our day was going...,sadly it was like  11 am, and i admited that i hadnt done a single productive thing. i was being lazy as i had been doing for the past oh- week.  she knowing me better than most people asked me "what about your happiness project"-
---it was like a caring slap in the face...lol... i realized a few things at that moment.  one- i get excited to have followers on here...the few that i have...but it amazes me to know that people actually take time out of their own lives to read about my craziness...i hope that at least a teeny bit of what i write about makes them stop and think about themselves, what makes them happy, or just appreciate little things that we overlook so much everyday...   and two- (the biggest one) i am starting to go off track on my own project. how can i fail at somethng i am in complete and total control of... seriously- even though day after day i can get up and do the routine things i do, and feel like a slug, that isnt what i want for myself or as an example for my kids...
today she was what i needed to hold myself accountable for my own actions.  motivation- a major lack-there-of ... 
     why waste my day away when there is soooo much that can be done to reach my goal of more order in my life...will i ever reach that goal- most likely not, but that isnt a bad thing- it is more of a continous thing. something i can always strive for to make me a better person. there is a ginormous amount of satisfaction when i get something organized, even if i know it wont stay that way- for example my 12 yr old dresser drawers. but at least it is a moment out of my day i can smile and feel accomplished...lol its getting started that is difficult. what motivates you?

as i started straightening up my house, i found myself wandering... id start in one room- have a plan- then while putting something away into another room, i started an entirely different task in the new room, not having the first one finished... thus not really getting any of them accomplished entirely... so tomorrow i am going to try to start in one room and take a basket to put things in that go elsewhere in the house, resulting in me not leaving the room till the task at hand is done... lets see how that works... the second hurdle to this goal will be actually putting away the misplaced items and not leaving them in the basket!...lol 
i have tried making to-do lists... for some reason they work for me for like a day, then i never look at them the next day- if i didnt want to do the stuff listed that day, i know im not going to want to do them the next, explaining the reason they arent done yet!!! i need a solution to this issue i think. maybe if i organize my thoughts better the actual organizing will come easier too...

now- i actually started back in the book into the friends section... not through it completely yet, but sometime soon i want to start something that gretchen also began- keeping track of my friends better... so many times i find myself saying to someone i run into from growing up, and the conversation inevitably ends with us saying something like "we should have lunch and catch up, or call me and we can get the kids together" all of which is said with the best intentions but it is well known but not admitted that it isnt going to happen... and it is all due to lack of effort for me! i have really great friends, but i never see them... or maybe i should say i HAD really great friends, but i have been a terrible friend in reality. i really really want to make an effort to have the occasional lunch to catch up, or meet at the park with the kids.  gretchen started with birthdays, and i started thinking bout that too... i love to scrapbook, craft and make cards... what better way to do both... make cards and send them!  aagain... good intentions... i do need a bit more organization but ill work on it...

here is my happy tool for the day- i have been watching courtney play recently, she has now began playing with imaginary friends... it is so funny to listen to her talk to them... i used to have them too... i think alot of us still do, we just call it something else... the voice in our head that helps us make decisions, or tells us, go ahead buy that chocolate! i think we all need that everynow and then... (not just the chocolate)

thanks for reading... feel free to share with friends... ! (no- really- id love more comments, or even people to tell me im totally nuts) till i ramble again.... good night!