hot slides, prince charming, and bottled serenity

Morning ! hope everyone slept well because i didnt... woke up about every hour and a half for no apparent reason... and im really not an early morning person, but if i sleep good, i do actually like mornings... there is something peaceful about mornings... when the world is just waking up...the quietness- you know the one before the 12 yr old busts out the door feeling like he is running late cause he fell back asleep, the dog that instantly needs to go out when he hears the front door open,  and then the baby starts talking to himself and anyone listening through the baby monitor in his own little babble "um, hello mother... im here and im hungry" and occasionally the ka-thud of the 3 yr old who rolled over and fell out of my bed that she has crawled up into late at night or earlier this morning. she is stealth i swear some mornings... youd never know how she mysteriously appears next to me...lol...

yesterday i did manage to take a walk with mason and courtney to the park that is about 2 blocks down from us... we pulled out the double stroller and left. it was a bit warmer than i expected, so i didnt figure we would stay out long... but we got there and courtney got to swing for a little bit. the big slide on the playground was hot so the one time she went down it, was the last time she went down it. i couldnt convince her- the girl who loves slides, and all things playground- to try again. we even tried mason in a swing... still a little too small but made for a cute pic anyway.

so after we played for a little bit, we decided to take a walk through the park too, to see where the path led us, since ive never been.  the path itself didnt go too far, but there was a trail- brilliant me thought ok, we can try it, the stroller pushed easily through the playground mulch, and the trail looked similar...yeah- no- not quite as easy... ha!  but we forged ahead . mason was so content laying in the stroller watching the trees go by. he loves being outside. courtney enjoyed looking for squirrels, and birds. we even saw a toad or frog, not sure which one- that she decided to name prince charming.

it was really nice walking through the woods... there is a calm... a quiet serenity that overtakes you. almost like time stops and you dont have cares or worries for a moment- you know some people want to bottle up the energy from a spastic child, but i think id rather bottle this amazing serenity... i need more moments like this in my day...where i can just take a deep breath and really appreciate my surroundings. i have to learn to stop every now and then and reassure myself that things will be alright- even if the living room toys are overwhelming me, and the laundry is sitting in baskets all over the bedroom. i have to tell myself that the world isnt coming to an end because no one seems to know how to change the roll of toilet paper, or replace it for that matter, or courtneys clothes get covered in sidewalk chalk because a budding artist has been hard at work...i have to remember to just breathe.

so one of my efforts in my happiness project is going to be- try to infuse each day with a little moment of serenity, where i take a deep breath and notice things that i would have missed being busy. what is a few minutes going to take away from the day?right?

well, after we got back from our hike, which is what it felt like- i thought i was gonna die. 2 kids in a big stroller isnt lightweight, especially uphill through mulch. we chilled out in the dining room and colored... 2 things off the kid to-do list checked!  and it really was nice to see courtney get excited when i offered our plans... and to my amazement she was better behaved yesterday than she has been lately...i guess that tells me i need to pay more attention to my kids- kind of a slap in the face to quit being so selfish i guess...

for now, im going to go rock mason , and enjoy his stinky piggies, share some mommy/mason time before courtney wakes up, then see what today holds...

im sure i will ramble again later...:)

crabby boys

you know it is extremely hard to try to be happy when you have a couple of grouchy, short tempered guys in the house...ughhh.  

puffy stickers, junk drawers, and carol burnett

when i was little, my mom and i lived at my grandmas house. this morning while i was laying in bed, i was thinking about things i remember about being there...these things may not intrest anyone reading this, but my grandma had a big window in her dining room that she had plants on, and at the holidays she would decorate the window seat with her christmas village... it was like a magical little wonderland that would captivate my interest to just stand there and look in wonder... why this popped into my head- who knows...

her bedroom was on the bottom floor of the house, and in the middle of the day, we would get a snack, and go flop...lol... her term for going and laying across the bed on our bellies and watch t.v....namely the carol burnett show... the way her room was set up was that if you lay across the bed you could look right out her windows into the side yard... and see the cherry tree, the cars going by the neighbors house, etc...  i think i will have to pick up a copy of the carol burnett show, i remember laughing so hard with her, even though im not sure i even understood some of the funnies in the show, but more so just getting tickled over her laughing so hard... laughing is contagious! 

another thing that sticks in my mind was the top drawer of her dresser- it was one of those shallow, jewerly like drawers... mostly that collected junk and this and thats... but it was like a treasure trove for me to explore... i think as i de-clutter things around here, i need to relocate all the little junkie stuff to one location for treasure exploring later...

my mom and i lived in the upstairs of that house- which to this day i love that house, and would love to go through it again... so many memories there... but upon going upstairs and turning to the right, you would find my room...but on the back of my door you would find my sticker collection...lol... maybe this was a tell tale sign that i would one day be an avid scrapbooker and still find delight in stickers, but i loved them... there was scratch and sniffs, which im sure looked pretty silly to stand and sniff a door, character stickers, i remember a few smurfs, and some rainbow bright... but my favorite were puffy stickers... a big yellow smilie face one imparticular... courtney also loves stickers, so maybe i need to find something like a blank journal book or notebook for her to put stickers in too... because usually her stickers go on her shirts and then she takes them off and they end up in the trash... because mommy wont let her stick them on furniture... lol...

why my brain decides to reminisce at 6.am  is beyond me, especially since i have a killer headache, i will never know, but i thought i should write it all down while i was thinking about it (well type it ) ... and now i hear my little man in his bed talking away... guess id better go make him some cereal, and probably start a to-do list...  have a great day!

happy list:

• puffy stickers
• carol burnett
• junky treasure drawers

unhappy list:

• migraines
• having to get up 3 times since 2 am to pee...
• stubbing your toe on the cabinet in the kitchen while looking for headache medicine

duct tape, happy people, and baby kisses

my oldest son is now 12... almost a teenager... it scares me to death, but i suppose ill get through it.. we get on him alot about being annoying making stupid sounds constantly, and of course the ongoing issue of his messy room...which yes it is dissorderly, but it could be alot worse... but since ive been thinking more about making the most of my kids childhood- since they wont be little forever- and he is not so little anymore...ive come to realize that it isnt so important to constantly be on him about it... its his room, why does it bother me so badly. now- im not going to let it get too out of hand. because he needs to have some responsibility in life for his belongings. but the crap he has in his room gets on my nerves, and i dont think it should... for example, he is in this mode of wanting to make stuff with duct tape...where my husband and i think it is ridiculous and stupid, i am trying to be sensitive to his feelings, and not roll my eyes too much in front of him...and im about to break down and buy him a roll of it just because...i have to keep reminding myself, and my husband that things that are stupid to us, are not so stupid to a 12 yr. old... i remember collecting gum wrappers, to make chains- a collection that served no real purpose and i thought it was pretty cool... im sure my mom thought it was dumb too...

    i really think that if i not let the little things get to me like stressing over junky stuff in jakes room, it will help me be happier in general and make the days a little happier for my kids too.

since jacob has started middle school, he also gets to start going to youth group at church... i actually got out of bed and got the kids ready to go to church this morning! we havent been there since like mothers day...mostly because i tend to be a night owl since mike works nights, and i am lazy and dont want to get up in the mornings.  but when i do go, i feel so much better afterwards... and i truly enjoy seeing people that go to my church... especially the happy ones...lol   you know those people that always seem happy, and just being around them tends to brighten your day...that is how the youth group leaders are...dave and mandy are so super nice, and always seem happy, greeting you with smiles and friendly faces... then there is my friend diane, she always makes me smile... it is so true a statement that if you surround yourself with happy people, you will be happier too.  they are the kind of people that i strive to be like. thought it really saddened me to hear that my always happy friend diane had been feeling blue lately, i never imagined it possible...and the people pleaser in me came busting out pulling out a little cheer me up kind of book for her... so why cant i do that for myself when i feel depressed?   depression really stinks... i am completely unmotivated to do anything, i cant seem to make decisions easily, and everything seems to get onmy nerves... all i want to do is sleep...   then is when i need the crotchety old woman to jump out of me and smack me in the face and tell me that im wasting away the blessings i have in my life... i need to implement one of gretchens rules... act the way i want to feel! 

back to my blue friend for a second... i gave her a book that i have had since college... it was 10,000 things to be happy about... basically it is pages and pages of little things, simple things, to be happy about...(some things wont apply to everyone, but others will) like- the smell of fresh cut grass, or bright colored kites in a bright blue sky, or making snow angels... just a few examples...  i had highlighted different random things in it but i havent read it in years... so i think im going to start my own list, some of which im sure are in that book somewhere, but these are things i think ill start listing at the end of my posts- things that have popped into my head sometime during that day for any reason- today for some reason, i just couldnt get enough of masons baby kisses... of course at 5 months he cant really kiss, but he opens his little slobbery mouth and smooshes it on my cheek...they are so sweet, and he gets so tickled! it makes me smile just thinking about it...

my happy list:

• baby kisses
• gumballs in a machine- like a miniature ball pit!
• my button basket- hundreds of buttons in a basket for crafting, love running my fingers through it
• satin ribbon
• farmers markets

i wish i had a record button for all the random thoughts that shoot through my head during the day, because i never remember everything i want to blog. oh well- be thankful, your boredom would last forever! lol...
till i ramble again...goodnight!

powdered sugar donuts, bathtub crayons, and sweet dreams

hey followers! the 6 that i have!!! and random readers. havent had a chance to read much the past couple days, ok, that isnt entirely true, i did manage to read a little in the organization book i have... only because im in a mood to go through and declutter after reading that section in the happiness project book... anyone get a copy yet???  well anyway, the little book is called  "The one-minute organizer: 500 tips for getting your life in order"  we will see about that...lol... it is actually a cute little helpful book...full of tips and ideas that really we all should do, but probably dont...  its one of those things that makes me feel good once it is done, but i dread starting it...- organizing... i love all the organizational bins and baskets that you can get at the stores, and i dream of one day really and truly being organized- you know like all those fake houses on t.v....
    my house seems to collect piles of things, papers, toys migrate, shoes end up everywhere, but the worst is my kitchen- i HATE my counters in my kitchen being cluttered... things get set down with the intentions of being moved, but never seem to get moved... the bad thing is, i cant stand being in my kitchen when it is cluttered... dont want to cook, dont want to do dishes, nothing- and i really like cooking, and baking... dishes dont bother me really as long as i have a counter to put them on.  every morning i get up and no matter how clean my kitchen is the night before, inevitably things appear on the counters... which starts me off on a sour note for the day.  boo on happy mornings... but oh well...
    so, back to my happiness book... i have to admit, another reason i havent read as much in it lately is the upcoming section... this next part of the book is when she focuses on friends... havent read it yet, but before i even start it, i can feel the guilt approaching... it is another one of those good intentions issues...but not following through because of different sorry reasons... its like the fun has been sucked out of me as i get older... that inner child that wants to come out and play is being beat to death by the old woman who will emerge sooner than she needs to.  i have a couple of friends who i call my best friends, one lives in another state, (which really sucks!!!!! cause we are soooo much alike and could really use each others shoulders at times) and the other doesnt live too far from me, but works full time and has 2 boys of her own, and we only get to see each other once or twice a month... then i have a handful of other friends that i talk to on occasion, but dont really ever see... i dont ever go out and hang out with friends like id like to, but im ok with it. i would love to make time each month to do something like that because i think everyone needs to, but life always seems to get in the way. then i have a few friends that i have always been close to growing up, and have really grew apart from, which is sad. i still feel like the same person i was when i was younger, but i know im not.    so being the emotional wreck i am right now anyway- i hesitate to start reading this next section.

i have been pondering my last post alot... trying to think back on my own childhood and what things really stick out as good memories growing up... i so badly wish for my kids the same kinds of memories...not ones like mom was grumpy, and we didnt do all the fun stuff my friends did...  unfortunately some of the memories i have growing up through my teen years kinda sucked...my parents were pretty strict, and i always had alot of chores(which isnt a bad thing- but mine was a bit extreme) and even my friends back then knew i wasnt allowed to do alot... i do love remembering good stuff like my grandma coming over every morning to take me and my neighbor to school (elementary) and she would bring me a chocolate eclair from a local bakery.  or my mom every night would tuck us in and put sweet dreams under our pillows...this was a happy thing that continued through college minus the tucking in part- silly maybe, but she would send little plastic containers full of nothing but marked "sweet dreams" and it never failed to make me smile... and then i realized i started doing that with courtney when she started sleeping in her big girl bed, but for reasons unknown to me, i stopped... there is that crotchety old woman sneaking into me again, and filling me full of bedtime bah humbugs... so a mental note to myself- find a spare box of sweet dreams to give out every night to my kids...

here is something fun that is well worth the 10.00 investment- bathtub crayons... courtney gets soooo grubby and dirty from playing outside and one of her favorite things to do is play with sidewalk chalk- which ends up on everything...       we have 2 full bathrooms in our house but only one we can shower in currently... the bathtub for the other one is brand new and sitting on end in the other bathroom. and until it is installed, (anyone feel like installing a bathtub? for free? or for dinner? or even a case of beer?)  we have to use the shower in the other bathroom... personally i love baths, and i loved baths as a child... bubbles, bubbles, and more bubbles... but bathtub crayons are great to draw on shower walls with! courtney loves drawing pictures for daddy so when he takes a shower later he can see her artwork. well, i have found another use for them...they make great messages on mirrors! i can scribble reminders on the mirror, or leave little notes for mike. (be them nice- or not so pleasant...lol) or if you are like me, i still like drawing pictures and doodles on the shower walls too...finally the inner child can come out, she needs to take showers too!

and last but not least- same basis as the hungry hungry hippo game... powdered sugar donuts... i usually steer clear of them, because im a lazy ogre and i try to avoid messes...well i bought some tonight! lol... and i smiled when i did it! despite the knowledge of the white mess that will await me, it made me happy because i know the kids will love eating them. and maybe we will even bust out the playdough tomorrow too!

btw- i think the makers of lucky charms needs to package the marshmallows from the cereal into snack packs... courtney asks for cereal to eat dry as a snack and i tell her she needs to eat the other part too, but it never fails- the cereal part sits in the bowl while the marshmallows magically dissappear...

oh well- someone will suggest it, and probably get rich...lol...

till i ramble again...thanks for reading.

catching up generally

i am about halfway through the book, and still love everything about it. my blog posts are going to be random, so bear with me...this is how my mind tends to work...randomly-  lol.

Gretchen has this list of secrets of adulthood that she has learned along the way... and there are a few that i came to accept as things i really really need to improve on myself... here they are-
~ happiness doesnt always make you feel happy
~what you do every day matters more than what you do once in a while
~you dont have to be good at everything
~by doing a little each day, you can get alot accomplished

i am generally a happy person... i try not to dwell on negative things, i have a beautiful family, a modest house, we arent wealthy, but we make do with what we have.  i have learned to not worry about things i have no real control over, and not let too many things bother me. i guess im a believer in "what will be will be"  its like that serenity prayer..."Lord grant me the serenity to accept things i cannot change, courage to change the things i can, and wisdom to know the difference"  
    I am the only person i can really change... i cant change other people except in the fact that if i am a happier person, it might help others be happier too. i can be a positive role model for my kids and hope they choose to be happy in their own life, and what more can i wish for them. 
    when my mom died, i went into a depression, that i still deal with to this day... she was my best friend, and i miss her terribly...but i cant change the fact that she is gone now, but i can live happier knowing she would want me to. so many times i will see something or hear a song that reminds me of her, and instead of crying and moping about in sadness that she isnt here with me, i smile remembering why that song, or that thing reminds me of her.  i have to rely on my faith that there is a greater reason that she is gone, and maybe one day i will know that reason. 

what you do every day matters more than what you do every once in a while-  routines, telling my family i love them, cleaning up clutter in my house, playing with my kids... a few things that struck me right away...just yesterday on the way to the doctor we saw a car accident where a car slammed into the back of a semi truck that was stopped at a red light... my husband and i both thought there was no way that driver survived by the looks of the car... luckily she did, but i wondered if she had told her family she loved them before she left the house...knowing that could be the last time she saw them...

happiness doesnt always make you feel happy- big one- hard to come to terms with... this is something that came into play with my marriage,and some bad decisions that i still am not going to go into... but i am happily married. does my husband always make me happy- no. i have come to accept that...lol i love him for who he is, and i cant change that. im sure im no peach to live with and i need to try to not be so grouchy with my family. but i am happy with being a fruit salad...

by doing a little each day, you can get alot accomplished- this is something that is going to be on my to do list every day soon... i have a book that i bought a long time ago, something like the 15 minute organizer, or something along those lines...   my house is a catch all for everything... we have clutter in every room, and i hate it. i grew up in a house that we kept clean most always...i mean it was chore after chore...i tend to look at the mess now, and feel no motivation to do it because there is soooo much to do... so i have started a to-do list and will keep adding to it, be it little tasks or big tasks, and work on the list a little at a time... i , like gretchen feel a sense of accomplishment when i can cross things off a list as done...

you dont have to be good at everything is one i have issues with... i like to be good at everything i do... it is a sad flaw, but i dont like to half ass anything. you wouldnt know it by looking at my mess of a house, but i have always liked the saying   if it is worth doing, it is worth doing well... im very competetive. i thrive on recognition, and praise...again another flaw. man i have alot of thing i need to work on...

till i ramble more in a few minutes...

just smile and nod, bandaids, and chocolate

went to bed last night with the beginning of a killer headache, so took some migraine meds... woke up this morning as if i hadnt taken any at all... it really sucked... my head hurt all morning. i worked at the corn stand today, and was on the verge of tears a couple times. Eventually it felt better after a mega dose of motrin, but it was tough.  through it all this morning, i was able to read some more, and think alot. my brain goes into overdrive on the way anywhere, and it was a day that i wished i had a wifi card on my comp, cause i was dying to blog!
 today was beautiful this morning, and a few things hit me... summer is almost over, and fall is fast approaching... then i started thinking about how lazy i have been with my kids this summer. i just finished reading the section of the book that talked about fun, and having more of it. time flies by so fast it seems anymore, and you know the saying, seize the day... well i need to enjoy the moment more. i need to relish in the little things, and treasure the childhood wonders around me...
    while sitting in the tent today, courtney- who accompanied me, was sitting next to me looking up at the sky, and pointed out a cloud that looked like a car... and before i almost automatically said something like "uh huh, thats nice" like i really didnt care, i stopped myself and actually looked at it. i used to love watching clouds, and let my imagination take over. i felt instantly guilty and a little sad inside for having brushed off so many of these little moments.  so i told her "you are so right, it does" and the smile that came over her face lit up my heart...
     lately courtney has been begging to play hungry hungry hippos, a game that in childhood is so very fun, but in adulthood, it tends to be noisy, and annoying... i keep putting her off and i know i roll my eyes when she asks to get it out... i have to stop this... i dont want my kids to grow up remembering the fun we didnt have...really is the hippo game going to kill me...no. is it fun/...it actually is a blast watching her squeal with delight while her hippo gobbles up the marbles before mine.
    so many times i have wanted to take the kids to the park, or a new place to explore, only to avoid going due to a lack of motivation or not wanting to drive there... how selfish of me to deprive them of a fun day.
i love making people happy, so why is it any different with my family? 

this brought me to another thought that totally relates to the corn stand... occasionally we get a customer who usually is of elderly status, who doesnt seem to want to leave...they just stand there talking and talking... and i began to think... maybe they are lonely, and need someone to talk to, or maybe they just enjoy sharing their stories, and wisdoms, even if learning about paw-paws isnt on the top of my to do list. so i am determined to listen, smile and nod... what is a few minutes of my time-right? rather than brush them off and hurry them along, even with a ginormous headache throbbing in my head, i will act happy and interested in everyone they used to know that lives nearby my familys house...knowing they appreciate a friendly ear... and as they leave i actually do feel a tiny bit happier that i helped make someones day. 

my daughter is 3 yrs old, and very active...and just like many other little people, every tiny bump, bruise, scratch, or scrape becomes a tradgedy needing a band aid... i think i need to take stock in band aids... and lately ive noticed myself rolling my eyes, bothered with this issue every time she is teary and demanding one because it is soooo frequent...  does every little scratch need a band aid? no- i know this... i try to tell a 3 yr old this- why because im a stupid adult and let insignificant little things interfere with the big nothing that is going on at the time. band aids make her feel better... im this way with chocolate...it doesnt cure anything bothering me, but it makes me feel better.
    so i am going to make a conscious effort to take part in more tea party picnics, hungry hungry hippo games, and cloud watching... buy more bandaids and maybe a little chocolate (lol)...and offer a listening ear to the passer-bys that stop for produce, and live in the moment and enjoy the little things i tend to take for granted.

Be Chrissy

How hard could it be... be myself... the first of her 12 commandments is Be gretchen... how simple yet undone it is for me.

in order for me to find what truly makes me happy, i need to know who i am... who am i and who am i not?
who would i like to be? who do i try to be? why do i wish i am who im not? 

i am not: a perfect mom, a very organized person, a great housekeeper, a writer- i can pretty much spell and my gramar isnt bad, but i dont implement them in my typing, i am not a partier- thats one of those things, that sometimes i wish i could be-go out and live it up on the town, but its just not my thing,i am not athletic at all- my athleticism consists of watching it on tv.,  i am terrible with directions-give me landmarks and im ok, i am horrible with math, my time management skills need work...this list could go on, but id rather focus on the i ams...

i am: a good mom, a decent housekeeper- we dont live in filth, just dust..., i am creative, i love music, i am a people pleaser- i like making others happy, even if it results in less happiness for me., i hate confrontation, i cry easily, i am emotional, i am very co-dependent, i am a perfectionist to an extent, i would say im an overachiever, im competetive, im a bargain shopper, i love goodwill and garage sales,i am addicted to facebook- im working on that one,  i like movies, but cant watch really scary ones, and not a fan of the dark- both stemming from losing my mom, i am a christian but i am intrigued by the supernatural, i am overweight and hate it,i am a scrapbooker-very behind i must say,  i am nosey, and inquisitive...

this list can go on and on too, but it is a start... i plan on disecting it later sometime.

here is something else i am- im tired... it feels like it has been a long day and im going to bed...

till i ramble again...

in a nutshell

well, now that you know kind-of what im blogging about, maybe you should know more about what the book is about... Gretchen(the author) basically breaks down a year by the months and designates each month to an area of her life to focus on, has a list of , you could call them rules or guidelines, she calls them 12 commandments that she trys to live by, and tries to implement different things to help her be happier with her life. 

i unfortunately am not that organized. i would love to be, and think i appear to be at times, but structure was never my strong point in school, i couldnt take notes in a nice orderly manner, and really im still not. so, my goal with this is not to focus on something each month(at least not yet- maybe not ever), but more to take her experience and implement things in my own life that might make a little more happiness and order in my chaotic house.  through the few chapters i have read so far, i have realized that i take alot of the little things for granted that i never realized. 

So here is the big question  that was posed in the book- What is happiness?  Seems like a simple enough question... but in truth it is really really difficult for me to answer... i can say things that make me happy, or at least i think make me happy, and i can say things that might make me happy, but really what makes me happy?  (note: at times, i probably will ramble, and make no sense at all to you, but living in my brain the rambling makes a little bit of sense.)
-my kids make me happy...and crazy...but happy nonetheless
-a clean house makes me happy...it is rarely clean...but someday...
-the weather we have been having: warm, but breezy, and sunny, mild in general
-walking through the farmers market today made me happy...the colors, and smells
-books...i love books
-satin ribbons and tags like inside clothes...silly maybe, but rubbing them relaxes me
     there are so many more things, but those are just a few...

And now i ask- what makes you happy? i would love to hear comments and answers.

She ( the author) also has a list of secrets of adulthood that she made... basically like realizations...i love these... one of them is - Whats fun for you, may not be fun for other people... and in the same sense What make one person happy, may not make another person happy...

On my quest, i hope to come to some of my own realizations, and figure out more of what makes me happy.  along the way, i really hope this doesnt make me seem egotistical, and selfish, but if it does...deal with it...lol.

till my next rambling...

The Book- my beginning

Well, since i am about to enter the world of blogging, i thought i would tell you why i have decided to. first a little about me i guess would help...
      i am a 32 yr old stay at home mom of 3 beautiful kids of 12, 3, and 5 months. been married to my husband for 9 yrs now this past june. we have been through alot, as have most couples, but most of ours id say have stemmed around my bad decisions. yet, he has stood beside me through them all when he could have givin up on me, and i am grateful for that. maybe ill go into that more another time, but not now.
      i lost my mom and best friend 10 yrs ago, and i miss her terribly. it was a very stressful relationship at times, but id take back all the stress and grief to have her back. losing her has made me grow up in alot of ways i didnt think i was ready for but we do what we have to.
     i started college after highschool, but withdrew my second year to come home and have my first baby. I was a single pre-mom through my pregnancy and lived with my mom. I met my husband when my son was 1 1/2 months old, (enter Brad Paisley's song- He didnt have to be)
     so, after 3 kids, 2 dogs (now 1), and 1 marriage- with all the bumps along the way which will most likely surface on here eventually, here we are blogging...

I have started reading the most incredible book called  The Happiness Project by, Gretchen Rubin...you have to pick up a copy...it is about the authors drive to make herself a happier person, and the year she devoted to it- how she went about it,and what she learned, I am not real far into it yet, but every page has made me smile, and really evaluate myself, and my life...    at this point in my life i dont really consider myself unhappy, but there are deffinatelly things i can improve upon that would make me a happier person...this book has really opened my eyes to alot of things... so i have decided to do my own happiness project as i read the book... this blog is too help me be more accountable and document my effort. hopefully i will keep up on it fairly regularly... if you are actually reading this, you will either find the inner workings of my mind humorous, interesting, or incredibly boring... no matter- here we go... happy reading

pre-blog

well before i dive into the thoughts that are consuming my brain... i have to figure out how to make this thing look pretty.  it might take a few days, but my thoughts arent going anywhere, and im sure you are all just peeing your pants with anxiety waiting to read it. lol... till i get it figured out... good night!