went to bed last night with the beginning of a killer headache, so took some migraine meds... woke up this morning as if i hadnt taken any at all... it really sucked... my head hurt all morning. i worked at the corn stand today, and was on the verge of tears a couple times. Eventually it felt better after a mega dose of motrin, but it was tough. through it all this morning, i was able to read some more, and think alot. my brain goes into overdrive on the way anywhere, and it was a day that i wished i had a wifi card on my comp, cause i was dying to blog!
today was beautiful this morning, and a few things hit me... summer is almost over, and fall is fast approaching... then i started thinking about how lazy i have been with my kids this summer. i just finished reading the section of the book that talked about fun, and having more of it. time flies by so fast it seems anymore, and you know the saying, seize the day... well i need to enjoy the moment more. i need to relish in the little things, and treasure the childhood wonders around me...
while sitting in the tent today, courtney- who accompanied me, was sitting next to me looking up at the sky, and pointed out a cloud that looked like a car... and before i almost automatically said something like "uh huh, thats nice" like i really didnt care, i stopped myself and actually looked at it. i used to love watching clouds, and let my imagination take over. i felt instantly guilty and a little sad inside for having brushed off so many of these little moments. so i told her "you are so right, it does" and the smile that came over her face lit up my heart...
lately courtney has been begging to play hungry hungry hippos, a game that in childhood is so very fun, but in adulthood, it tends to be noisy, and annoying... i keep putting her off and i know i roll my eyes when she asks to get it out... i have to stop this... i dont want my kids to grow up remembering the fun we didnt have...really is the hippo game going to kill me...no. is it fun/...it actually is a blast watching her squeal with delight while her hippo gobbles up the marbles before mine.
so many times i have wanted to take the kids to the park, or a new place to explore, only to avoid going due to a lack of motivation or not wanting to drive there... how selfish of me to deprive them of a fun day.
i love making people happy, so why is it any different with my family?
this brought me to another thought that totally relates to the corn stand... occasionally we get a customer who usually is of elderly status, who doesnt seem to want to leave...they just stand there talking and talking... and i began to think... maybe they are lonely, and need someone to talk to, or maybe they just enjoy sharing their stories, and wisdoms, even if learning about paw-paws isnt on the top of my to do list. so i am determined to listen, smile and nod... what is a few minutes of my time-right? rather than brush them off and hurry them along, even with a ginormous headache throbbing in my head, i will act happy and interested in everyone they used to know that lives nearby my familys house...knowing they appreciate a friendly ear... and as they leave i actually do feel a tiny bit happier that i helped make someones day.
my daughter is 3 yrs old, and very active...and just like many other little people, every tiny bump, bruise, scratch, or scrape becomes a tradgedy needing a band aid... i think i need to take stock in band aids... and lately ive noticed myself rolling my eyes, bothered with this issue every time she is teary and demanding one because it is soooo frequent... does every little scratch need a band aid? no- i know this... i try to tell a 3 yr old this- why because im a stupid adult and let insignificant little things interfere with the big nothing that is going on at the time. band aids make her feel better... im this way with chocolate...it doesnt cure anything bothering me, but it makes me feel better.
so i am going to make a conscious effort to take part in more tea party picnics, hungry hungry hippo games, and cloud watching... buy more bandaids and maybe a little chocolate (lol)...and offer a listening ear to the passer-bys that stop for produce, and live in the moment and enjoy the little things i tend to take for granted.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
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Chrissy, I LOVED this post. This is exactly where I am in my life right now. Hearing that someone else is there too, and trying to do something about it is very motivating. I too have been trying to think less in terms of "Me time" and more in terms of "How can I make my kids' childhood a happy memory?" My kids have wasted so much of summer in front of the TV. Yes, we had a few fun days here and there... but the majority of it, I feel horrible. And every night, I think "I really should have just taken them to the park". I've just been so depressed and into myself lately. I'm betting that if I get over myself and just do things with them, I'll feel better too.
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